1.04.2009

close my eyes.

Books to read:

  • The Namesake
  • 2666
  • Women and Place series
  • Unaccustomed Earth
  • The World Without Us
Tomorrow is my long trip back to Los Angeles. I'm actually looking forward to it this time around.

My kittens keep coming into my room, looking up at me, and meowing. Then they walk over to my packed bags and fall on them and look at me with big, wide eyes. I feel awful that they are probably one of the things I'll miss most about being here.

Realizing how close "the rest of my life" has become.

The doctors confirmed that I have pre-cancerous cells growing... in my body... right now. That those cells will change into cancer ("you have a long time. you are young," they say) within 10 years. I say this on my blog not to be sensational but to enlighten the series of entries that is sure to follow about how my entire perspective on life is changing. Has changed. Within the last 24 hours. A lot of things seem less important than they did a few days ago, including holding onto a relationship that was never worth my time in the first place.

I'm not sure when I will get to write again (because the quarter is starting, I'm reuniting with friends, making plans, going to be on the East side of LA for a little while), so I will just say now that I have re-defined what it is to have value as a human being. I will explain this in the future, but for now, I must sleep. Long day tomorrow.

3 comments:

Brett said...

Oh no, can they stop the pre-cancer before it becomes cancer? And you're going to be spending time in East LA?
Don't make me worry about you, C-Jones.
Hope the quarter starts off well.

Anonymous said...

Could I write a column persuading (or scaring) said cells into health? Or at least provide moral support through shopping trips?

siege said...

They say there's a possibility my body can fight it off, but I won't know for a few years. Yeah. Doctors don't know anything.

And, Katie, does law school also teach you how to cure medical problems? Because, if so, that is such a good value for your money. No, really. And yes to the shopping. Yes, yes.