10.29.2007

samantha made sure.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. I also spend a lot of time thinking about the best version of myself and how I can possibly ever live up the expectations I make for myself. The me that I want to be doesn't have to drink coffee to look forward to her day. And she certainly doesn't spend 19 hours per day doing work that leaves her feeling hollow and looking forward to when she can actually fit Broadway Danny Rose into her schedule. Sammy made me promise her that I would take some time to myself by Wednesday at 6pm. But then I started to plan my Wednesday and found that there was no room for that. It's a literal impossibility. So for now, I will bask in the fact that I am giving myself five short minutes to contemplate who I am and what I want out of my life.

The other day, I was talking to one of my roommates who told me that she was counting on marrying a rich man so she could have whatever job she wanted in life without having to worry about money. I started to think about that. I always just assumed that I would want to know - even if I didn't have to - that I could live on my own. Plus, marrying rich severely limits your options.

Now. Back to work. So I can learn a lot. So I can be get a job I love. So I can be amazing at it. So I am happy.

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