it's a siren barely audible.

People say to me:

"Carrie, you're so cute, you could have any guy you wanted." And I laugh it off. Because it isn't true. And even if it were, I wouldn't want it to be. I don't want any guy I can have. I only want the ones who don't want me. There must be something inherently wrong with me.

Or maybe it's just a ridiculous notion to think that anyone could convince anyone else to be with them. That's not how it should be. It's so hard to find anyone I'd actually care about enough to want to spend all that time getting to know their flaws and then reconciling myself to them. So while I want the stability and comfort a relationship offers, I also want the freedom to say "Eff off. You're annoying me. I'm going to go off and find myself again." Basically, I'm back at the part where I said there was something inherently wrong with me.