The reality of unemployment and the recession is only now really making itself overtly apparent in my life. I'm back to hyperventilating because I have no paid work and no prospects. I am actually frightened, but more frustrated. I worked so hard the last four years, and for what? The jobs that I am good enough for are being eliminated, and the jobs that I could actually get, I am overqualified for and they won't hire me.
I'm sure I am not the only person experiencing this right now, and it makes me simply want to pack up my things and disappear. I should have been like all of the other scared, insecure UCLA students and applied to graduate school right away. That would have been the logical thing to do in the middle of a deep recession.
Feeling hopeless, haven't felt so hopeless in months. It's like I'm back to January, despondent, in my bedroom, alone, and anytime I try to speak, the words turn into frustrated whispers that never communicate the actual direction my stomach is twisting.
I am thinking of making a mistake and going to the show on Saturday night. At least it would keep me busy, at least I could get a free drink and finish what I started.
6.26.2009
maybe another time.
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4 comments:
I hear you Carrie. I'd be lying if I said this recession was not partially why I decided to go to grad school this year. The economy does indeed suck. I am crossing my fingers for you! Good luck with the job hunt (and filling out grad school apps, which seems to be in your near future).
Thank you so much! I will definitely need it. You wouldn't believe how slim the pickings are for us English majors right now. I mean, I always wondered how useful my degree would be outside of academia, but now I'm confronted with the actual reality of the situation. And I don't really believe that we've entered some sort of "real world," but it's definitely a different world out here. It certainly has much less respect for what drives us as people who love literature.
And I look forward to attending one of your poetry readings in the near near future. Best of luck in grad school :)
A free drink? Hey baby, let me buy you a draaank.
Clearly, you should take your English degree and go be a black rapper. This is what society values. Get on it.
Aaron, I don't know where you get all these videos and shit, but I won't even ask. Don't want to spoil how amazingly awesome they are. :) Thanks.
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