and in the morning.

I wish Larry Burrows were still alive. I would have had a major crush on him. Oh well, he can be my Jacques Cousteau. I haven't had a picture in a while, so....



Things are good. Page 13 of my thesis (actually page 16 if I put it into Times New Roman, a font which I hate and can't work with until the final copy). I have written 3 pages today alone. I read in a book somewhere that I'm supposed to congratulate myself on every small victory, so that's what that's about.

I think each step of life is important, and I am happy to be taking the step that I am taking right now. When people ask me how I am, I always say I'm good. And that's because I am. It's a reserved, controlled kind of good that any self-directed woman would be proud of. My roommates and I sat in my bedroom last night, talking about men. I told Nina I would only want to be in a "right now" relationship if it all. The truth is, I'm not even sure I want that. I've never not cared so much. It's nice. Then again, if I really didn't care, would I be writing about it right now, you might ask? I think coming to terms with my apathy is different than the apathy itself. I'm surprising myself, and I think that's a good thing. Do I make any sense? Do I ever? Yeah, no, probably not. Especially since this really cute guy reading a long novel totally caught my eye at Literati the other night.

Can't wait to leave the country for a long long time. Might move to Greece with Leslie in any case. Or might keep to Ireland. Finding out about Japan and the two-year program on Wednesday. In my heart, I know I am a romantic (not in the 'love' sense (I am not that at all), but in the poetic sense), so I will be building this up for a long time to come.

Why can't I stop rambling?

Back to work. I'm at the Charles Young Library. It is dark and dusty and there are spiders everywhere. I'm pressed up against the wall on the fifth floor. Maybe I should just leave. I think I'm going crazy because of the place I am in, not because of my own inner turbulence. Something about ecocriticism.