bisou bisou.

We are picking up John from the train station today. He's finally back from Mexico! I wonder how things will be when he gets here, if all of us will go back to the way things were before. It's strange because I feel like I see him all the time, that we still work together every day for hours on end. But I haven't spent time with him since June. I blame AOL instant messenger.

The exact opposite is true for Rebecca. I feel like the two days I spent with her in Lyon, France in September are a forever away. She has been gone so long and she has gone so far. I wish I could talk to her more. I feel like there is this space between us (and, quite literally, there is) that makes me feel like our friendship occurred in a past lifetime, far from anything I can relate to anymore. I feel like when she gets back, things won't be the way they were before. Not at first, anyway. But then I think they will be even better. So many different dynamics, hundreds of stories and snippets of the Alps and the French countryside.

But, while John is just a few hours away from me now, Rebecca is 9 months away. It is a strange feeling you get when two of your closest friends are in foreign countries, living without you for such a long time. You wonder "Have they replaced me?" Sometimes you feel like it is possible. But then you realize that you are only wondering this because - in the back of your mind - you wish that you had been as brave as they are.