over and done.

I was at the airport today and I realized that everything I do in life, I do it the wrong way first and then I fix it and everything turns out okay in the end. I am referring, of course, to small things that happened today, but I think it can be applied in the larger context of my life. For example, I over-generously tipped the guy who drove the shuttle because I thought he said "bill" and wanted all my money, so I got really nervous and handed him what I had in my wallet. Really, he said "bag" and was asking if I had gotten all of my bags out of the back. By that time, I couldn't say, "Oh, in that case, can I have a couple of those dollahs back?"

Later, the cute guy who took my bags at the Frontier Airlines counter told me to take my bags to the kiosk to have them placed on the plane. So I walk over to the kiosk, or what I think is the kiosk, and I just stare at this huge black guy for a minute, waiting for him to tell me what to do with my bags. Then I realize that - without any words exchanged at all - this guy knows I'm an idiot and that I'm a stupid and small little girl. So he directs me with his eyes to the right place, where I successfully make a fool of myself by dropping my bags all over the ground right before handing them to the guy waiting.

In the end, though, everything gets done. I get on the plane, read my graphic novel about evil/hot aliens trying to spread their progeny on earth (thanks, b), listen to Ani Difranco, get picked up, and make it home to pet my kitty cat. But along the way I make misstep after misstep. This could not be more true in matters of my heart. Or matters of my driving. Or matters of my job experience. Or.... It's like my mind works in the exact opposite way that other humans' minds work, so I have to run into lots of screen doors before I learn to open them. It's not that I'm dumb or out of touch; I am just completely dysfunctional. I know this. But I do well for myself nonetheless.