higher speed.

Lately, my dreams have been so real and vivid. And I just keep going around and around and around in circles and never progressing anywhere in them. Things that I didn't even know were bothering me are coming to the surface to plague me while I sleep.

Then I wake up and realize that nothing will ever be the same again and all I want to do is go back to sleep. Then I go back to sleep. And the dreams return.

So, basically, I don't know which is worse: sleeping or being awake, trying to drag myself through the next few weeks.

Television is a nice escape. Then I realize that I've been watching Flavor of Love Girls Charm School Starring Mo'Nique for three hours. So I suppose the only viable alternative is studying, during which I do not have to think about myself at all. I always knew things would be like this, and I still know that everyone is going to make it to the other side and be just fine. But this summer is going to be one of so many transitions and I just can't look past them right now. They're like this huge storm that I can't run away from in time. And, this time around, I have no one to cling to except for myself.